Charmed for the New Year!

Well 2011 has come to an end and as I figured out what my new year's resolutions will be for 2012, I decided to take a different approach. I find that like most people I don't tend to follow through with any of my new year's resolutions, (this past year being an exception), so I've decided that I will document my new year's resolution here. Not only that, but I as I list each resolution I'm going to describe why each one made my list for 2012 with the hopes that I keep looking back at this entry and fully remind myself why I put it on my list to in the first place!  So here goes:

1.  Think Positive and be more mindful:

  I'm going to start the list with this one because I think it will set the stage for all my other resolutions.  This skill has to be the hardest one for me to attain.  It constantly reappears on my resolution list, and time and time again I find myself back at square one with no progress towards this goal.  Basically it boils down to this; I am always scared, paranoid and angry.  I'm so afraid to lose anything important to me.  Especially after the summer of 2010, I hesitate with any decision I make, so scared that one wrong move will have negative circumstances.  I'm also so paranoid, over analyzing everything and constantly thinking the worst case scenario. It is no way to live and I am sick of it!  I'm going to think more positively this coming year. Hell I may even experiment with meditation and see if I can train myself to think more calmly.  Anything is worth a chance at this point in my life!

2.  Write more...

  Here in my blog.  In high school, I was a writer for the school newspaper and even though my work was not "New York Times" material, I still loved it.  I accepted any challenge my Editor gave me for a story and enjoyed writing about it.  So I think that on my quest to "think positive and be more mindful,"  writing down my thoughts, frustrations and anything happening in my life will help me figure out a way to accomplish the first resolution.  I've made attempts in the past to do this and I always end up critiquing and rewriting an entry so much that I wind up thinking "screw all of this!" and give up.  Well the only way to get better at writing is to just write! I'm going to force myself to just write entries, whether they look good or not, until I get into a habit of always sitting down and expelling my thoughts on a regular basis.  Plus, N. is making a website for me to write about makeup and beauty tips and tricks so I need to get the ball rolling, and hopefully with some time and effort my writing will improve.

3.  Read more...

  When I woke up on Christmas Eve I was a grinch, I was feeling down and could not get into the holiday spirit.  N. took care of that by sending me audio of him reading "A Zombie Night Before Christmas." Instant mood booster.  But what really got me back into the holiday spirit was on Christmas Day.  At the beginning of the season we had agreed not to get each other gifts, but N. has terrible memory.  Under our little 3 foot Christmas tree was a single gift.  Upon opening the gift, I discovered it was the one thing I wanted all year: a Kindle!!!  I was elated when I saw that thin grey tablet sitting in the box, and I already had a mental list of all the books I wanted to read!  I have slacked big time on this hobby and that needs to change!

4.  Start running...again!

  Last year's resolution was to run a 5k, and I did it!  I ran in the first Run for Your Lives Zombie 5k in Baltimore, Maryland and it was amazing!  Well now they will be hosting a 5k in Boston for 2012 and my friends and I have signed up for it so there are no excuses!  Hopefully I can get out of hibernate mode and get back into shape by May.

5. Go back to school:

  This is one I seem to be struggling with because I can't decide which program to study.  MRI and Echocardiography are the two programs I am stuck on but either way I will be making an appointment in 2012, and a decision will be made.  After graduating from Massasoit in Radiologic Technology and not finding a full time position is leaving me with one option, and that is cross modality training.  In the current state the economy is in, hospitals and clinics are looking for people that are trained in multiple fields so that they can have a "2 for 1" deal.  Unfortunately for me that means that I am going to have to train in another field to be more appealing to employers.  I feel like I will never be done with school but I am determined to make a career I can be proud of, and if going back to school is the answer then so be it.

These are the biggest goals I have set for myself in 2012.  The list may not seem long, or profound but for me they are what I want to accomplish!  If anything, I want to accomplish resolution #1. I'm tired of being a slave to my thoughts and emotions.  I want to find a way to be happy with who I am, whether I'm in a relationship or not. (more details will follow...)  Well, my writing journey begins!